Category Archives: reading

My current obsessions

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1.  Oh.My.Gosh. SERIOUSLY SUN – WHERE ARE YOU?? My #1 obsession right now is that great, big, golden ball in the sky. *sigh*

warm

1. sun & ring & hand, 2. Warm feeling, 3. I want to be where the Sun warms the sky, 4. Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces; Little darling, it seems like years since it’s been here; Here comes the sun, here comes the sun; and I say it’s all right (14/52), 5. Fairytales 2- Warm, 6. two seconds in the sun, 7. Today shined liked Spring. #ssevolve #shuttersisters #thecameramen, 8. Sunshine!, 9. a warm glo

2.  This video on the Art of Asking, is in two words – brave and beautiful! Asking. For me it’s a tough, tough thing to do. It involves leaping over my shame, and fear of being seen as inadequate and needy. But I think what Amanda Palmer shares so beautifully is the flip side of asking – connection and trust and seeing and being seen.

3.  Just about every project from this architecture firm.

4.  Jun Kaneko’s  everything!

5.  Lots of the recipes on this website. I just now had a left over slow cooker pork burrito for lunch. yum.

6.  Brene Brown & Oprah – Super Soul Sunday.

7.   I continue to be confused about the use of quotes in artwork and merchandise on Etsy, etc. For example the use of song lyrics or sayings on artwork. My interpretation is that unless you have permission from the author or estate you should not use them for anything you are selling. Judging by the number of items for sale I’m doubting many have done the leg work to gain the proper permission. Occasionally I consider adding quotes to my work, but don’t because of the possible legalities. Anyone have any info about this, or a legitimate reference source?

8.  Books, books and more books…what else are you gonna do when the wind chill is in the teens, and there is nothing but claustrophobic grayness. And all of your motivation for being productive has leaked out of you, phhhhhfffffffzzzeeeeeeefffftttt, like air out of a balloon, and just walking the dog makes your eyes water, and your nose run, leaking snot out of both nostrils, because of the cold, brittle wind. My mother would say, “Now honey, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” But you are so POed at winter you can’t keep the whining, grating, complaining tone out of your voice. Not unless you want to explode in a giant fire ball of angry anyway. Sorry Mom.

A Fine Balance/Rohinton Mistry, Little Bee/Chris Cleave, Wild/Cheryl Strayed, The Great Dance/C. Baxter Kruger, Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore/Robin Sloan, Help Thanks Wow/Anne Lamott.  Some I’ve finished, some I’m in the middle of.

p.s. I have edited this post 13 times. Egad Reginald, the poor girl’s gone mad. If that sun ever shines she will be baying at it like a hound dog.

philosophical meanderings

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The deer hunting season ended recently, and all three boys went hunting.  Everett was the only one to get a deer though.  I had the privilege of accompanying Nate on three different occasions.  Which means I spent about 12 hours in the deer stand with him.  (He spent a total of 36 hours in the deer stand, and did not get a deer – wonder what philosophical musings he has about that?)  When you have to sit there quietly it gives you lots of time to think.  It was truly a gift in so many ways.  I got to see the sun rise. twice.  And hear the early morning rustling of birds in the brush, and squirrels scratching away fallen leaves looking for acorns.  Fog hung over the line of trees surrounding a meadow.  And as the sun rose, rays of light fingered through those trees creating magical spotlights in the meadow.   I got to see a coyote stalking through the field almost right below our feet.   I got to see the sun set once, while the moon rose in the opposite sky.  Occasionally Nate and I would have whispered conversations, but for the most part I was able to just let my mind go, flittering from one thought to the next – just like the birds in the brush.

On Being, I’ve only recently discovered this program.  Important conversations for today.

TED talks seem well known, but are you familiar with Do Lectures?

The River Why - this book.  I read it in my 20′s.  It was such an important book in informing my philosophies regarding faith, nature and our relationship to it, love, life.  Everett read this book at 15 and was hugely impacted by it as well.  He wrote a college scholarship essay about it… here is one of his lines from his essay.  ”Unmolested wilderness is an asset to all humans, whether they realize it or not.”

The sounds of nature just take a moment to listen, and I think you’ll immediately feel more relaxed. Maybe you need something like this as we are entering the frenzied holiday season.

What is your life philosophy and who/what has influenced you?

Inspiring Me November

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  • These tree seedlings that Everett is nurturing along with attentive care.  The boys have grown tree seeds from the Tree In a Box company.  And it has been a real labor of love, and even at my kids age, there was a real sense of delight when the little trees broke the surface of the soil.

For the rest of my November inspiration I’m going to present them one at a time.  Frankly I’m tired of giving 10 seconds of attention to a hundred things.  So,  instead I will give more attention to each item, and maybe open things up to big questions and more in-depth conversation.

  • Last month I linked to an inspiring young man who built his own house on wheels.  Kids these days, right?  Well here’s another one:  A boy and his chickens and bees and some thoughts on failure.  I barely know where to start with the things this 15-year-old boy, Orren Fox, is saying.  Talk about wisdom – he has figured out some things that most people take a lifetime to figure out, if they ever figure them out at all!  Here are the things that really jump out at me:
  1. “but there is no room for, ‘I don’t want to go.’ “  I’ve spoke of this before.  The need to do the hard thing.  The need to do the things you don’t want to do, but that must be done.  No ifs, ands, or buts.  Put your nose to the grindstone.  The side effects are a good healthy dose of earned self-esteem and inner strength.  It seems in this day and age those are quaint and nostalgic ideas.  But when these ideas are put into practice, character is built and things get done!!
  2. “I hope I never become an expert because being a beginner means you can make tons of mistakes and you can ask a ton of questions.”  How do you feel about making mistakes?  I know a few years ago, mistakes were a really big deal to me.  This is what the equation looked like:  mistakes = bad.  And I’ve watched my kids sort through this too.  There have been times when they’ve tried something new, and became frustrated cause they couldn’t figure it out right off the bat.  They would think they were no good at it, and abandon the thing.  I think our family has become better about this as we have intentionally become a mistake making place.
  3. “I trust them and they trust me.”  Considering that we are coming off the presidential election, and the election evidence that we are truly a divided country… well, I’m thinking that trust could go a long way towards healing what divides us.   The power of community and consensus building, are things, in my humble opinion, that we need.  If we could build trust that when we ALL thrive, not just a few, it’s a good thing.
  4. “And failing is just as important and interesting as succeeding.”  Can you live in that space?  Where failing is more important and interesting as succeeding…Have you ever looked at it from that point of view?  Is there as much or more value in the process and the learning and exploring, no matter the outcome?  I’m certainly coming to believe so.  More and more I’m loosening my expectations, control, and need for certain success.  It is incredibly freeing and truly opens up all kinds of interesting and exciting possibilities.

I hope you will read through Orren’s post, and watch his video.  I’d welcome any and all conversation related to these ideas!

against the grain

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Very often the way I’m wired, the decisions I/We (as a family) make feel like they go against the grain. Most of the time I feel like enough, and don’t get caught up in comparisons with the way other people do things. But other times I find myself in a place  where I feel like I/we don’t measure up, fit in, etc.

As a family we choose to be less involved, to leave wide margins in our lives. ”Idleness is not just a vacation, an indulgence or a vice; it is as indispensable to the brain as vitamin D is to the body, and deprived of it we suffer a mental affliction as disfiguring as rickets.” Tim Kreider in a NY Times commentary.

Being an INFJ. As an individual I have spent some introspective time learning and knowing about myself. This seems self-indulgent, but the truth is no one but you is going to take the time to really understand yourself. The benefits are that, as you figure yourself out, you become more aware of the why behind the things you do. You are able to treat yourself with more compassion, understanding and acceptance. By doing the work you develop a finer tuned ability to listen to that inner voice. One interesting aspect of this self discovery is that I am a personality type that is complex, intense, rare…so the aha moment was understanding why I feel like the odd ball quite often, and why I often feel like I’m going against the grain. But as you investigate you discover, hooray, there are other people like you.  Your case is not as oddball, unique or solitary as you once suspected. Really – Do the hard work. It gives you the courage to take responsibility for yourself and to let go of the things that are not yours to own.

I live in the belt buckle of the Bible belt, and I recently quit church, after being involved in a church for 20+ years. So, yeah definitely going against the grain. I was completely burned out on the constant meetings, and doubt and performance-based faith modeled there. I felt like no matter how much I did, contributed, volunteered for, etc. it was never enough. In this model of faith I felt like I had to deny my self.  This kind of Christianity required me to work, and work, and work to try and transform myself  into a “good” God lover. Curiously, I’ve been out of church now for a couple of months and only 2 people have even asked about where I’ve been. Hmmmmmm, I’m thinking that my particular church is playing a very dangerous and superficial game of playing church.

I have experienced something entirely different in my relationship with God that I never expereienced in the church setting. He loves me, he is especially fond of me (as The Shack describes it). He knows everything about me, even knows where I will fall short on the road ahead, but loves me and cares for me even in that. It is a relationship not a religion. It is a relationship that is completely safe, without expectations or if/then scenarios. If you manipulate 10 people into going to church I will love you. If you hand over 10% of your money,  only then will I love you. If you sing those boring hymns with more gusto, then I will love you. Instead I’m experiencing a journey, an adventure, and most importantly a relationship that in the process absolutely needs the real me to show up. Not the hokey, fakey, “good” God lover. I don’t have to lose my self-ness in this relationship, and it’s this authenticity (not my constant striving) that makes real transformation happen. I know not all of you share this journey with me, or  you have different expressions for your spirituality, but if you are curious this is a short list of explorations that have guided my journey. Some of this stuff hits the list for controversial *spoken in a whisper voice*. But I don’t know of anyone more controversial than Jesus in his time on earth.

smoothpebble studio

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Some new cut paper illustrations.  I still feel like I am trying to figure out my style… I often read the articles on branding yourself and creating a signature style.  Maybe I need to quit reading those things and just flow.  In fact my inner voice is no longer whispering but shouting at me to put on some psychological blinders and focus on the work.  I’m too malleable and influenced by what I see and read, and all of those stimuli often drown out my intuition.  Does anyone else feel that way, and what do you do to return your focus??  I think I think too much. ; )

brain dump

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Too, too many bees buzzing in my head.  Today this is the depository:

1.  The top photo is the second hive cutting I did mounted on navy paper.

2.  I just viewed the Cindy Sherman exhibit on-line.  I won’t argue that she is insanely talented, but I have to say I find her work disturbing and grotesque.  Clowns-ugh, they really tap into my clown phobia.  And that’s just for starters.  Many of her photos I find repulsive, but I’m guessing that is one of the reactions she is anticipating with her work.

3.  I loved listening to the Fresh Air interview with author, Jonah Lehrer, about his new book Imagine.

4.  This etsy video of Natalie Chanin, has renewed my infatuation with her craftsmanship and her business philosophy.

5.  Some new to me favorite musicians:  Jono McCleery, Bedouin Soundclash, Dr. Dog, Junip, Justin Townes Earle, Tristen, Yukon Blonde, The Orbans, Luisa Maita (I don’t understand a single word of this last one, but it makes me feel like a world traveler!)  All of these found on a promotional CD from Teva.

6.  I’m currently reading Eat Love Pray.  I was predisposed to hate this book, and in fact I had vowed to never read it.  Thinking to myself what a self-indulgent, whiny, and annoying book.  However, having just finished the Pray section I must eat crow or admit that I myself am self-indulgent, whiny and annoying because so much of the book is resonating with me.  Here’s the thing, some of us take longer to come to our own truth then others.  For whatever reasons, and because we have so de-selfed ourselves that the path to wholeness is a very long journey indeed.  Now, would I love to have a year in which to travel and “find myself”?  Absolutely.  Is that going to happen?  No way.  But I think I can continue to find my heart in the context of where I’m at right now.

7.  A fellow papercutter’s amazing cut of her father’s beloved dog.

8.  Just for kicks and grins I had the boys take The Five Love Languages Test for Teenagers.  (Thanks Melinda)  M.’s is Quality Time.  E.’s is Quality Time with Acts of Service a close second.  N.’s is Affirmation and Acts of Service.  This is the way they most experience love and get there tanks refueled.

9.  Mailing off this papercut to a delightful person who asked me to create a papercut inspired by Otomi textiles.  She also told me this, ”Love these. I think others would love it too. You should list it!!. Thanks sooooo much. People like you are why I love etsy. ”  It very nearly made me cry.  Which is something else too, lately I get so happy weepy over things…  Is this normal?  Is it hormonal?  Have I evolved?  Or is my weirdness just leaking out in a new way?

9.  Part 1 of an interesting dialogue about being a crafty (as in maker of things) consumer.

10.  Revisiting this video.  Why?  Because it contains such an important message.  Don’t quit!  Keep making, writing, photographing, cooking, whatever it is that got you into the game!

I know this is a long post with lots and lots of links…definitely a brain dump.  But I’ll be away for a bit.  The days are so gorgeous, and I’ve got lots of projects I’m working on.